life drifted in the current

Faith was in the bus.
She saw nobody but the reflection in the glass.

Her eyes still swollen. Her heart ached.
The trees on the road were waving to her, mocking at her melancony.

Probably was windy outside, the weather was beyond fine.
She saw a young man running, he didn't use MP3, just wore plain shirt, shorts.
She didn't know why, but she felt the warmth of her body.
Life. Motion. Discipline.
His face was firm.
He looked toward the bus.

A glance.
Did he saw her?
What kind of expression on his face?

Would he think of her like she would think of him the rest of that day?
Did it matter anyway?
Her heart ached again.

Guys would just dumped girls like her friend Fanny told her.
Why waste time with men?
Fanny changed boyfriend whenever she felt like it.
By the way, they were going to talk last night. But Fanny had her phone off, same thing last week.

Unlike Fanny, Lily didn't feel like have a boyfriend at all.
She went out with a guy, going to movie and dance.
One day he stopped calling her, Lily nor Fanny didn't say why.
She didn't like Andy, though never sw him.
"Keep distance, keep distance."
Then went back to her book world.

Andy and Faith met each other on chat room. They have known each other for 2 months already.
Faith was very alone.
Meeting him filled her time gap with chatting, laughters, SMS.
Filled the time, but not the heart.
She felt uneasy when she was with or not with him.
In a way, she would feel better with the girls, talked to them about school, life.
Fanny needed to go out most of her time with "her friend", while Lily would ask her "why meet?".

Since the girls were busy, when she was alone, she would be with Andy, who would listen to her and spend time chatting and Sms.

Andy wanted more than just chat and SMS.

Faith didn't really like it, she sort of dislike it. But Fanny said it would be so exciting and all.
Faith still didn't know why.

Before she fully understood it, he entered.

Then the other day, they went to friend's party. Andy's full attention to her faded.
He devoured with his eyes Fanny's friend's face and figure at first, scan her from head to feet.
Fanny didn't notice Andy's reaction at all. Not even when Faith told her.

" I really don't like your friend Sandra."
" But she is so pretty!! Everyone likes her and she knows the good places to go!"
"Have you seen how Andy looked at her?"
"well, everyone looks at her anyway."

Then the other day, they went to Fanny's party again. Andy began to talk to Sandra, they giggled and she touched his chest. Not just touch.
Then Andy looked into Sandra's eyes, and stared at her lips, back to her eyes, and mouth opened.
They were together a month by then.
Faith would think it was a seduction game. That night they exchanged number.

"It's nothing!"
" It's trust among friends!"
"He got her number, what an ass!"
"Yes, and she got his, Fanny!"
" May be you should talk to him, OR, think of going out with another one, don't you think?" That was Lily.

Two weeks ago, Andy, instead of calling every night, he didn't call on Friday and Saturday night.

Last week, Andy began to shorten the phone conversation. He seemed indifferent to the skirts she wore. He used to praise her. She wouldn't fully like it, but she was glad she wanted it. She needed it.

Last Friday. Andy turned off his mobile.
On Saturday morning, he turned off his mobile when she called.
In the afternoon, said he was tired, and told her that he went to a rock concert with Sandra, alone.

"Do you know your calls are annoying?"
" What?"
"I'm tired of your overreacting."
"You shouldn't have went to concert with her alone, why didn't tell me before?"
" Do you know what freedom means? How long have you lived here in the city?"
Faith clenched her fists.
" DO you know what respect is? I'm your girl friend!"
" Yes, and I'm a man who can go out with anyone."
" Did you slept with her?"
" It's not what you think."
" YES or NO?"She shouted.
" Faith, calm down!"
Faith lost her voice, felt the tears running down from her cheeks.
An enormous shadow of emptiness was filling her, invading her. She felt fear. She could smell it.

"Did you?"
" I went to her house after concert..."
" What??"
Felt the pressure, Andy began to defend himself.
"You see, we had some beers in concert, I was drunk."
Faith didn't want to hear anymore.
She pressed the button.
All she needed to hang up.

She breathed in.
Wait. May be he just went to her house, nothing else happened.
She called him again.

"Andy?" her voice sweet, ready to save the situation whatever it would cost.
"Faith! Are you okay?"
" I shouldn't been that rude to you, you know, I missed you So much last night. I wanted to..."
" What?" Andy gulped, he smelled the alcohol from his breath. Ready to go.
" You know..."
" What about now? Your place?"
" I'm with my grandma and cousin now?"
" Then what were you going to say?"
" I wanted to say I Love You!"
"....anyone could say that"
"What??" Faith frowned.
" Why do you want to argue with me? know what? We are over."
" What??????" Faith felt losing breath.
" That's it"

" SO you did sleep with her!"
" I said I was drunk, and had no mony for taxi, she told me to go to her place."
" Did you sleep in the same bed with her?"
" Where else?"
"Like sofa, florr??"
" What do you think I would have done? You tell me"
Faith fell silent.

"What did she do to you then?"
" She was drunk too."
"Okay, let's just go direct, did you or did not."
"?"
" Stop playing dumb, DID YOU?"
" .."
"DID YOU??"
"yeah.. but?"
"WHat "yeah", what "but"?"
she panted.

Silence in the room.

Next door she could hear an old man saying
" Danny was unemployed for 4 moths already, what can we do now?
" May be the landlord would lower the rent..."

" Does she has good body?"
" Faith, that's enough."
" DOES she???"
" DID you have a good time???"
" Do you still love me?"

" Faith, that's enough."

"Are you going to go out with her?"

"May be."
"May be???"

"THAT'S IT! Faith!! You are hurting yourself!"
"ANd you are the one telling me so??"
"I'm disappointed with you, Andy "

******

Faith looked out the window, some street cleaners are sweeping the Square.
Elderly people feeding flock of pigeons.
Someone walked in hurry, may be to catch up train or on the way to work.
A dog dragged his owner toward a tree.

Faith thought of the early runner, than looked at her reflection from the bus glass.

Looked out, she saw some teenagers or middle age people still drinking, some lying on the branches.

She took a deep breath.

May be it would be time to get a job, but what and where?

On the bus stop in front of her was an advertisement-
" Think about your future. Love yourself. Love your time."